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<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"><html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"><head profile="http://gmpg.org/xfn/11"><script type='text/javascript'>window.mod_pagespeed_start = Number(new Date());</script><title> 2007  December | The Best Article Every day</title><meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8"/><link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/h/www.bspcn.com/wp-content/themes/gazette/A.style.css,q9d7bd4.pagespeed.cf.nYibkV1ztF.css" media="screen"/><link rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="RSS 2.0" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/bspcn"/><link rel="pingback" href="/xmlrpc.php"/> <!--[if IE 6]><script type="text/javascript" src="/wp-content/themes/gazette/includes/js/pngfix.js?9d7bd4"></script><![endif]--><link rel='stylesheet' id='fbc_rc_widgets-style-css' href="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/h/www.bspcn.com/wp-content/plugins/facebook-comments-for-wordpress/css/A.facebook-comments-widgets.css,q9d7bd4.pagespeed.cf.3Lf1fXzImx.css" type='text/css' media='all'/><link rel='stylesheet' id='contact-form-7-css' href="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/h/www.bspcn.com/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/A.styles.css,q9d7bd4.pagespeed.cf.dvXWymejjl.css" type='text/css' media='all'/><link rel='stylesheet' id='wp-pagenavi-css' href="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/h/www.bspcn.com/wp-content/plugins/wp-pagenavi/A.pagenavi-css.css,q9d7bd4.pagespeed.cf.mdUsNC8oxV.css" type='text/css' media='all'/><script type='text/javascript' src='https://ajax.googleapis.com/ajax/libs/jquery/1.6.0/jquery.min.js?ver=3.3.1'></script><script src="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/h/www.bspcn.com/wp-content/themes/gazette/includes/js/scripts.js,,q9d7bd4,Mjm.PeUC_nGFuQ.js+woo_tabs.js,,q9d7bd4,Mjm.bg97qomrUe.js+superfish.js,,q9d7bd4,Mjm.aLmj2e2F3f.js.pagespeed.jc.fcavu4b_km.js"></script><script>eval(mod_pagespeed_ai4GeGyB4P);</script><script>eval(mod_pagespeed_vENLQbIbzW);</script><script>eval(mod_pagespeed_$l1ij3OawR);</script><link rel="EditURI" type="application/rsd+xml" title="RSD" href="http://www.bspcn.com/xmlrpc.php?rsd"/><link rel="wlwmanifest" type="application/wlwmanifest+xml" href="http://www.bspcn.com/wp-includes/wlwmanifest.xml"/><meta name="generator" content="WordPress 3.3.1"/><link rel="stylesheet" href="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/h/www.bspcn.com/wp-content/plugins/digg-digg/css/A.diggdigg-style.css,q9d7bd4.pagespeed.cf.ov6MLtVyuG.css" type="text/css" media="screen"/><meta name="generator" content="Gazette 2.0.9"/><meta name="generator" content="Woo Framework Version 1.0.7"/><link href="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/h/www.bspcn.com/wp-content/themes/gazette/styles,_lightblue.css,q9d7bd4+custom.css,q9d7bd4.pagespeed.cc.EiA8n3SyeJ.css" rel="stylesheet" type="text/css"/><link rel="shortcut icon" href="http://www.bspcn.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/9-favicon.ico?9d7bd4"/></head><body><div id="page"><div id="header"><h1><a href="/" title="The Best Article Every day"><img src="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/h/www.bspcn.com/wp-content/woo_uploads/x8-logo12.png,q9d7bd4.pagespeed.ic.Jjlcqa_CCJ.jpg" alt="logo"/></a></h1></div><div class="fix"></div><div id="nav"><div id="nav-left"><ul id="nav1"><li class="page_item" title="Home"><a href="/">HOME</a></li><li><a href="/about/" title="About">About</a></li><li><a href="/contact/" title="Contact">Contact</a></li><li></li><li></li></ul></div><div id="nav-right"><form action="http://www.google.com/cse" id="cse-search-box"><div> <input type="hidden" name="cx" value="014831380010786825610:rgsyjs39hmy"/> <input type="hidden" name="ie" value="UTF-8"/> <input type="text" name="q" size="23"/></div></form><script type="text/javascript" src="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/x/www.bspcn.com/www.google.com/cse/brand,qform=cse-search-box,alang=en.pagespeed.jm.SaU3MKdcKY.js"></script></div></div><div class="fix"></div><div id="columns"><div class="col1"><div id="archivebox"><h3>Archive | December, 2007</h3></div><div class="post-alt blog" id="post-239"><h2><a title="Permanent Link to 11 &#8220;Don&#8217;t-Tell-the-Wife&#8221; Secrets All Men Keep" href="http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/22/11-dont-tell-the-wife-secrets-all-men-keep/" rel="bookmark">11 &#8220;Don&#8217;t-Tell-the-Wife&#8221; Secrets All Men Keep</a></h2><p class="post_date">Posted on 22 December 2007. <span class="singletags"></span></p><div class="entry"><div style="float:left;margin:10px 10px 10px 0;"><div><script type="text/javascript">google_ad_client="pub-8015342394787624";google_ad_slot="4743508007";google_ad_width=336;google_ad_height=280;</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/x/www.bspcn.com/pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js.pagespeed.jm.mCuZSxLxs2.js"></script></div><p></p></div><p>Written by <a href="http://www.redbookmag.com/love/men-secrets-ll?src=syn&amp;mag=rbk&amp;dom=msn&amp;con=art&amp;link=rel" target="_blank">Ty Wenger</a></p><p style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><img width="312" height="240" src="http://lh4.google.com/bspcn.com/R205BrDUoVI/AAAAAAAABm0/Sy3MLEWCdmw/s800/secrets-men-keep-de.jpg"/></p><p>I was in the ninth grade when I learned a vital lesson about love. My girlfriend at the time, Amy, was stunningly cute, frighteningly smart and armed with a seemingly endless supply of form-fitting angora sweaters. And me? Let&#8217;s just say I was an adolescent Chris Robinson to her budding Kate Hudson &#8212; and well aware of my good fortune.</p><p>Then one day, as we stood in line for a movie at the mall, Simone Shaw, junior high prom queen, sauntered by. Suddenly Amy turned to me. &#8220;Were you looking at her?&#8221; she asked. &#8220;Do you think she&#8217;s pretty?&#8221;</p><div style="float:right;margin:10px 0 10px 10px;"><div><script type="text/javascript">google_ad_client="pub-8015342394787624";google_ad_slot="3334343123";google_ad_width=336;google_ad_height=280;</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/x/www.bspcn.com/pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js.pagespeed.jm.mCuZSxLxs2.js"></script></div></div><p>My mind reeled. Of course I was looking at her! Of course she was pretty! My God, she was Simone Shaw! I paused for a second, then decided to play it straight.</p><p>&#8220;Well, yeah,&#8221; I chortled.</p><p>Five days later our breakup hit the tabloids (a.k.a. the lunchroom).</p><p>There comes a time in every man&#8217;s life when he discovers the value of hiding the grosser parts of his nature. He starts reciting the sweet nothings you long to hear: &#8220;No, honey, I play golf for the exercise.&#8221; &#8220;No, honey, I think you&#8217;re a great driver.&#8221; &#8220;No, honey, I wasn&#8217;t looking at that coed washing the car in the rain.&#8221;</p><p>We&#8217;re not lying, exactly. We&#8217;re just making things&#8230;easier. But Glenn Good, Ph.D., a relationship counselor, disagrees, and maybe he has a point. &#8220;These white lies are pretty innocent, but they can turn confusing,&#8221; he says. &#8220;Many women think, If he&#8217;s lying about himself, is he also lying about something else? Is he having an affair? To establish trust you have to tell the truth about the innocuous stuff.&#8221;</p><p>And so, in the interest of uniting the sexes, we&#8217;ve scoured the country for guys willing to share the private truths they wouldn&#8217;t normally confess. Some are a bit crass. Some you&#8217;ve always suspected. Some are surprisingly sweet. (Guys don&#8217;t like to reveal the mushy stuff, either.) But read on, and you may discover that the truth about men isn&#8217;t all that ugly.</p><h3>Secret #1: Yes, we fall in lust 10 times a day &#8212; but it doesn&#8217;t mean we want to leave you</h3><p>If the oldest question in history is &#8220;What&#8217;s for dinner?&#8221; the second oldest is &#8220;Were you looking at her?&#8221; The answer: Yes &#8212; yes, we were. If you&#8217;re sure your man doesn&#8217;t look, it only means he possesses acute peripheral vision.</p><p>&#8220;When a woman walks by, even if I&#8217;m with my girlfriend, my vision picks it up,&#8221; says Doug LaFlamme, 28, of Laguna Hills, California. &#8220;I fight the urge to look, but I just have to. I&#8217;m really in trouble if the woman walking by has a low-cut top on.&#8221;</p><p>Granted, we men are well aware that our sizing up the produce doesn&#8217;t sit well with you, given that we&#8217;ve already gone through the checkout line together. But our passing glances pose no threat.</p><p>&#8220;It&#8217;s not that I want to make a move on her,&#8221; says LaFlamme. &#8220;Looking at other women is like a radar that just won&#8217;t turn off.&#8221;</p><h3>Secret #2: We actually do play golf to get away from you</h3><p>More than 21 million American men play at least one round of golf a year; of those, an astounding 75 percent regularly shoot worse than 90 strokes a round. In other words, they stink. The point is this: &#8220;Going golfing&#8221; is not really about golf. It&#8217;s about you, the house, the kids &#8212; and the absence thereof.</p><p>&#8220;I certainly don&#8217;t play because I find it relaxing and enjoyable,&#8221; admits Roland Buckingham, 32, of Lewes, Delaware, whose usual golf score of 105 is a far-from-soothing figure. &#8220;As a matter of fact, sometimes by the fourth hole I wish I were back at the house with the kids screaming. But any time I leave the house and don&#8217;t invite my wife or kids &#8212; whether it&#8217;s for golf or bowling or picking up roadkill &#8212; I&#8217;m just getting away.&#8221;</p><h3>Secret #3: We&#8217;re unnerved by the notion of commitment, even after we&#8217;ve made one to you</h3><p>This is a dicey one, so first things first: We love you to death. We think you&#8217;re fantastic. Most of the time we&#8217;re absolutely thrilled that we&#8217;ve made a lifelong vow of fidelity to you in front of our families, our friends and an expensive videographer.</p><p>But most of us didn&#8217;t spend our formative years thinking, &#8220;Gosh, I just can&#8217;t wait to settle down with a nice girl so we can grow old together.&#8221; Instead we were obsessed with how many women who resembled Britney Spears we could have sex with before we turned 30. Generally it takes us a few years (or decades) to fully perish that thought.</p><h3>Secret #4: Earning money makes us feel important</h3><p>In more than 7.4 million U.S. marriages, the wife earns more than the husband &#8212; almost double the number in 1981. This of course is a terrific development for women in the workplace and warmly embraced by all American men, right? Right?</p><p>Yeah, well, that&#8217;s what we tell you. But we&#8217;re shallow, competitive egomaniacs. You don&#8217;t think it gets under our skin if our woman&#8217;s bringing home more bacon than we are &#8212; and frying it up in a pan?</p><p>&#8220;My wife and I are both reporters at the same newspaper,&#8221; says Jeffrey Newton, 33, of Fayetteville, South Carolina. &#8220;Five years into our marriage I still check her pay stub to see how much more an hour I make than she does. And because she works harder, she keeps closing the gap.&#8221;</p><h3><img width="165" align="right" height="294" src="http://lh3.google.com/bspcn.com/R205BbDUoUI/AAAAAAAABms/USgPrmKMd7g/s800/r-165x294-11dontellwife.jpg"/>Secret #5: Though we often protest, we actually enjoy fixing things around the house</h3><p>I risk being shunned at the local bar if this magazine finds its way there, because few charades are as beloved by guys as this one. To hear us talk, the Bataan Death March beats grouting that bathroom shower. And, as 30-year-old Ed Powers of Chicago admits, it&#8217;s a shameless lie. &#8220;In truth, it&#8217;s rewarding to tinker with and fix something that, without us, would remain broken forever,&#8221; he says. Plus we get to use tools.</p><p>&#8220;The reason we don&#8217;t share this information,&#8221; Powers adds, &#8220;is that most women don&#8217;t differentiate between taking out the trash and fixing that broken hinge; to them, both are tasks we need to get done over the weekend, preferably during the Bears game. But we want the use-your-hands, think-about-the-steps-in-the-process, home-repair opportunity, not the repetitive, no-possibility-of-a-compliment, mind-dulling, purely physical task.&#8221; There. Secret&#8217;s out.</p><h3>Secret #6: We like it when you mother us, but we&#8217;re terrified that you&#8217;ll become your mother</h3><p>With apologies to Sigmund Freud, Gloria Steinem &#8212; and my mother-in-law.</p><h3>Secret #7: Every year we love you more</h3><p>Sure, we look like adults. We own a few suits. We can probably order wine without giggling. But although we resemble our father when he was our age, we still feel like that 4-year-old clutching his pant leg.</p><p>With that much room left on our emotional-growth charts, we sense we&#8217;ve only begun to admire you in the ways we will when we&#8217;re 40, 50 and &#8212; God forbid &#8212; 60. We can&#8217;t explain this to you, because it would probably come out sounding like we don&#8217;t love you now.</p><p>&#8220;It took at least a year before I really started to appreciate my wife for something other than just great sex; and I didn&#8217;t discover her mind fully until the third year we were married,&#8221; says Newton. &#8220;But the older and wiser I get, the more I love my wife.&#8221; Adds J.P. Neal, 32, of Potomac, Maryland: &#8220;The for-richer-or-poorer, for-better-or-worse aspects of marriage don&#8217;t hit you right away. It&#8217;s only during those rare times when we take stock of our life that it starts to sink in.&#8221;</p><h3>Secret #8: We don&#8217;t really understand what you&#8217;re talking about</h3><p>You know how, during the day, you sometimes think about certain deep, complex &#8220;issues&#8221; in your relationship? Then when you get home, you want to &#8220;discuss&#8221; these issues? And during these &#8220;discussions,&#8221; your man sits there nodding and saying things like &#8220;Sure, I understand,&#8221; &#8220;That makes perfect sense&#8221; and &#8220;I&#8217;ll do better next time&#8221;?</p><p>Well, we don&#8217;t understand. It doesn&#8217;t make any sense to us at all. And although we&#8217;d like to do better next time, we could only do so if, in fact, we had an idea of what you&#8217;re talking about.</p><p>We do care. Just be aware that the part of our brain that processes this stuff is where we store sports trivia.</p><h3>Secret #9: We are terrified when you drive</h3><p>Want to know how to reduce your big, tough guy to a quivering mass of fear? Ask him for the car keys.</p><p>&#8220;I am scared to death when she drives,&#8221; says LaFlamme.</p><p>&#8220;Every time I ride with her, I fully accept that I may die at any moment,&#8221; says Buckingham.</p><p>&#8220;My wife has about one &#8216;car panic&#8217; story a week &#8212; and it&#8217;s never her fault. All these horrible things just keep happening &#8212; it must be her bad luck,&#8221; says Andy Beshuk, 31, of Jefferson City, Missouri.</p><p>Even if your man is too diplomatic to tell you, he is terrified that you will turn him into a crash-test dummy.</p><h3>Secret #10: We&#8217;ll always wish we were 25 again</h3><p>Granted, when I was 25 I was working 16-hour days and eating shrimp-flavored Ramen noodles six times a week. But as much as we love being with you now, we will always look back fondly on the malnourished freedom of our misguided youth. &#8220;Springsteen concerts, the &#8217;91 Mets, the Clinton presidency &#8212; most guys reminisce about the days when life was good, easy and free of responsibility,&#8221; says Rob Aronson, 41, of Livingston, New Jersey, who&#8217;s been married for 11 years. &#8220;At 25 you can get away with things you just can&#8217;t get away with at 40.&#8221;</p><p>While it doesn&#8217;t mean we&#8217;re leaving you to join a rock band, it does explain why we occasionally come home from Pep Boys with a leather steering-wheel cover and a <em>Born to Run</em> CD.</p><h3>Secret #11: Give us an inch and we&#8217;ll give you a lifetime</h3><p>I was on a trip to Mexico, standing on a beach, waxing my surfboard and admiring the glistening 10-foot waves, when I decided to marry the woman who is now my wife. Sure, this was three years before I got around to popping the question. But that was when I knew.</p><p>Why? Because she&#8217;d let me go on vacation alone. Hell, she made me go. This is the most important thing a man never told you: If you let us be dumb guys, if you embrace our stupid poker night, if you encourage us to go surfing &#8212; by ourselves &#8212; our silly little hearts, with their manly warts and all, will embrace you forever for it.</p><p>And that&#8217;s the truth.</p><div style="float:none;margin:10px 0 10px 0;text-align:center;"><div><script type="text/javascript">google_ad_client="pub-8015342394787624";google_ad_slot="3497985007";google_ad_width=336;google_ad_height=280;</script><script type="text/javascript" src="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/x/www.bspcn.com/pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js.pagespeed.jm.mCuZSxLxs2.js"></script></div></div><div style="font-size:0px;height:0px;line-height:0px;margin:0;padding:0;clear:both"></div></div><p class="posted">Posted in <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/category/uncategorized/" title="View all posts in Uncategorized" rel="category tag">Uncategorized</a><span class="comments"><a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/22/11-dont-tell-the-wife-secrets-all-men-keep/#comments" title="Comment on 11 &#8220;Don&#8217;t-Tell-the-Wife&#8221; Secrets All Men Keep"></a><iframe src='http://www.facebook.com/plugins/comments.php?href=http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/22/11-dont-tell-the-wife-secrets-all-men-keep/&permalink=1' scrolling='no' frameborder='0' style='border:none; overflow:hidden; width:130px; padding-left:-15px; height:12px;' allowTransparency='true'> </iframe><a></a></span></p></div><div class="post-alt blog" id="post-237"><h2><a title="Permanent Link to 50 UnGrinchy Christmas Ideas for 2007" href="http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/21/50-ungrinchy-christmas-ideas-for-2007/" rel="bookmark">50 UnGrinchy Christmas Ideas for 2007</a></h2><p class="post_date">Posted on 21 December 2007. <span class="singletags"></span></p><div class="entry"><p><img width="288" align="left" height="216" src="http://lh4.google.com/bspcn.com/R2wBp7DUoRI/AAAAAAAABlQ/o6aAVs1NaVE/s288/61.jpg"/>This article was written and recommended by <a href="http://www.tinkerx.com/index.php/2007/11/25/christmas-spirit-20-50-ungrinchy-holiday-ideas-for-2007/#craft" target="_blank">Andy Havens</a>, the Author of <a href="http://www.tinkerx.com" target="_blank">Tinkerx</a>. He wrote a post called <a href="http://www.tinkerx.com/index.php/2006/12/06/the-tinkerx-ungrinch-25/" target="_blank">The UnGrinch 25</a> last year; a list of ideas on how to keep the fun, spirit and joy in your holiday season. In order to challenge himself, He was upping the ante this year. Let&#8217;s see if he can come up with 50 ways to beat the Holiday Humbugs. So? away we go.</p><h3>Craft Ideas<br/></h3><p><strong>1. Make a family calendar.</strong> Pick a theme or use pics of your family. Fill it with all the important family dates; birthdays, anniversaries, etc. Include a weird or interesting events from <a href="http://worldcat.org/oclc/9958492?tab=holdings">Chase&#8217;s Annual Events</a>. You can make monthly calendars using MS Publisher, or the ever-free and wonderful <a href="http://www.openoffice.org">Open Office</a>. Good to have, good to give.</p><p><strong>2 Create your own ornaments.</strong> My favorite, as a kid, was to take a styrofoam shape (bell, star, even a simple ball), and stick a bajillion sequins to it with pins. Pretty. Shiny. And it keeps kids busy for hours while you do other holiday nonsense. Another ornament idea (bonus!) is to take beads (I like the shiny, little, star-flowery shaped ones) and string them along a piece of craft wire. When you&#8217;re done, you end up with an ornament that&#8217;s also a bendy toy.</p><p><strong>3. Lego nativity scene.</strong> &#8216;<a href="http://www.brickshelf.com/gallery/revbps/Nativity/002_manger.jpg">Nuff said</a>.</p><p><strong>4. Toys</strong> from tots. There are many organizations that gather up toys for kids who don&#8217;t have them. And that&#8217;s fantastic. But kids also love to make and give stuff around the holiday season, and may not have the resources. Organize an effort to provide a crafty sort of event where all the necessary parts and instructions for making a neat holiday gift are available to a group of kids who otherwise wouldn&#8217;t have access. My bet is that if you or your organization provided the stuff and the supervision, your local, public library could help you find a place to do it.</p><p><strong>5. Make a truly edible gingerbread house.</strong> Every gob-smacked gingerbread house I&#8217;ve ever seen has been &#8220;hands off&#8221; (and more importantly, &#8220;teeth off&#8221;). Feh! Where&#8217;s the fun? I mean? C&#8217;mon! I don&#8217;t care if you stick six graham crackers together with peanut butter and put one gum-drop on top for a chimney. Do it, and then let the kids get all Godzilla on it. Or chomp it down yerself. You know you want to?</p><p><strong>6. Decorate somebody else&#8217;s space.</strong> Carefully. Tastefully. Always within the bounds of office rules/etiquette and the law/fire-code. But how nice would it be to enter your office (cube?) and find a wee, unexpected holiday trinket? Totally anonymous. Or to come home and have a strange, lovely wreath hanging on your lamp-post? Put a small, stuffed penguin with a Santa hat on someone&#8217;s dashboard today.</p><p><strong>7. Group shoebox calendar.</strong> Warning: takes planning. Everybody in your gang (family, office, church-group, etc.) brings in enough shoeboxes to make 25. Everybody puts something in them to help decorate the common space. Wrap them (and keep the innards secret), then randomly assign numbers 1-25 to them. Or more or less if you&#8217;re doing a non-religious thing. Do 31 and make it a &#8220;New Year&#8217;s Calendar.&#8221; Whatever. Then, on each day, get together as a group, open the appropriate box (take turns, now) and use it to brighten the day and make the place niftier.</p><p><strong>8. Bad Mojo Wreath Voodo.</strong> OK? this one will probably not go down well for many church youth groups? but it&#8217;s meant with a sense of humor, so chill out. Have everyone in your gang (family, group) write something that bugs them on a piece of colored paper that matches (or not) the cheapest, driest, most flamable wreath you can find. Decorate the wreath with the slips of nastiness. On the day of celebration, burn (or otherwise destroy in a more work-friendly manner) the Wreath of Spite. Celebrate the destruction and release of the things that bug you.</p><p><strong>9. Holiday bird-feeder.</strong> I like bird-feeders. So do my squirrels. Oh, well? But mostly they either look like weird plastic contraptions or little A-frame tenements. Help a bird out. Decorate a special bird-house/feeder for the holidays.</p><p><strong>10. Odd snow sculpture.</strong> We all make the snowmen. Yes, yes. Lovely snowmen. Do it up different this year. Make a snow carving of your company&#8217;s logo. Never mind. Don&#8217;t do that. How about a UF-SNOW? Unidentified Freezing Snowcraft? Or a guy climbing up your front tree? Or a giant hand? Don&#8217;t be overly critical of your work? just get some friends together and get stupid with the snow.</p><h3>Entertaining Ideas.<br/></h3><p><strong>11. Rewrite &#8220;The Twelve Days of Christmas.&#8221;</strong> Let&#8217;s face it, hollering, &#8220;Fiiiiive gooolden riiings!&#8221; is way fun. Way, way fun. You can not resist, so don&#8217;t hold back. But what&#8217;s even more fun, is hollering your own family version that only you and the clan know. Because, really? doesn&#8217;t singing about how your true love gave to you? &#8220;eight maids a milking&#8221; make you a bit? uncomfortable? I mean? dude gives people for Christmas? That ain&#8217;t right. Bob and Doug McKenzie not withstanding, your own version will be more fun. My son, just this morning, was singing, &#8220;Fiiiiive gooolden delicious!&#8221; Hilarious.</p><p><strong>12. Indoor snow-ball fights.</strong> We spent two years of my childhood in California, after having lived in Boston, and with parents who grew up in New York. Snow ball fights are a required element of winter joy. Indoor? Substitute aluminum foil balls, rolled-up socks, styrofoam (messy), newspaper wads, etc. instead of snow. The point is to throw things. Banzai!</p><p><strong>13. Mall caroling.</strong> It&#8217;s hard to find places to carol. Outside can get very cold. And, with kids in tow? well, it&#8217;s tough. Check with a couple local malls and arrange for a time to invite anyone who&#8217;d like to participate to meet, get song books, and walk around the mall singing. See if you can arrange for an accordion player. Seriously. It adds to the cheer. If you want to charge a couple bucks to participate and also collect donations from listeners and then give the money to a local toys-for-tots charity, that makes the whole deal more righteous, and more palatable to certain civic types.</p><p><strong>14. Grown-up PJ party.</strong> Notice I did not say &#8220;adult.&#8221; This is not a chance to play spin-the-bottle. This is about getting back to childishness. Come in PJs, bathrobes, bunny-slippers, blankets, etc. Bring your favorite (hopefully holiday related) bed-time story to read aloud to the group. Drink cocoa w/ tiny marshmallows (yes, and some brandy or JD) and have candy canes and graham crackers for snacks. Sit on the floor around the fireplace. Watch all the old<br/><a href="http://www.rankinbass.com/">Rankin-Bass</a> claymation holiday specials on VHS. Sing a few carols. Play?</p><p><strong>15. Insane White Elephant.</strong> Last year, John Moore from <a href="http://brandautopsy.typepad.com/">Brand Autopsy</a> set up an excellent White Elephant Blog. It ain&#8217;t up this year. Oh, well. The basic principles of a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_elephant_gift_exchange">White Elephant gift exchange</a> apply, but anyone who has their gift taken can keep stealing from anyone who hasn&#8217;t yet had their gift stolen that turn. The more people playing, the more fun. No &#8220;deceased&#8221; gifts in this version, either. Until you&#8217;ve had a gift stolen on any given turn, it&#8217;s in play.</p><p><strong>16. Make-a-wreath party.</strong> OK? this is a combo craft/entertainment idea. So sue me. We used to do this at the church I grew up going to. You show up with the basics of an advent wreath (styrofoam torus and a bunch of evergreen branches), and the host provides all kinds of add-ons; candles and holders, bells, ribbon, holly, berries, etc. Good times, and a wreath to take home, too.</p><p><strong>17. Semi-formal holiday martini party.</strong> In the old days (the 1950&#8242;s), people dressed up to go to holiday parties. And while this may still hold true for some work-sponsored events, more and more often, work holiday parties are tired, dull affairs. Most of the ones I&#8217;ve been to are, anyways. So, on your own, get some friends together and dress all high-class, and drink funky, fun martinis. No reason grown-ups can&#8217;t have grown-up fun around the holidays, too.</p><p><strong>18. Remembrance time.</strong> Around the table, have family members or friends recount their best (or most interesting) holiday memories. Yes, it&#8217;s corny. But corny is good during this time of the year. Embrace the corn.</p><p><strong>19. Tell your faith&#8217;s holiday story with sock puppets.</strong> You never real own a story until you tell it. I know this, because I played King Nebuchannezzar in a 4th grade production of, &#8220;<a href="http://www.worldcat.org/oclc/12566154&amp;referer=brief_results">Cool in the Furnace</a>.&#8221; I now own The Firey Furnace. Be that as it may? You can hear the Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Yule, Solstice, etc. stories again and again. But until you write out a script, <a href="http://www.daniellesplace.com/html/puppets.html">make your own</a> sock puppets for the players, fashion a stage from a major appliance crate and put on a show for the grown-ups? do you really <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grok">grok</a> the holiday&#8217;s true meaning? I think not.</p><p><strong>20. Mix-up the classics.</strong> Get the book versions of classic holiday tales like Rudolph, Santa, Frosty, Night Before Christmas, A Christmas Carol, etc. Get some index cards. Write character names, major attributes (&#8220;nose glows,&#8221; &#8220;miser,&#8221; &#8220;made of snow,&#8221; &#8220;elf,&#8221;) and plot points (&#8220;comes down the chimney,&#8221; &#8220;ridiculed by reindeer,&#8221; &#8220;just settled down for a long winter&#8217;s nape&#8221;) on them and keep the categories separate. Now go back and read one of the originals, but when someone (usually a child or me) yells &#8220;stop!,&#8221; insert a random card from the appropriate face-down pile. So you end up with something like:</p><p>&#8220;Rudolph didn&#8217;t like all the other reindeer calling him names, so he?&#8221;<br/>&#8220;Stop!&#8221;<br/>&#8220;? gave Bob Cratchit money to help with Tiny Tim&#8217;s legs.&#8221;</p><p>You can keep going with the original story, substituting other zaniness, or switch over to the one from the card. Whichever seems like more fun to you. And, yes, this is kind of a holiday version of <a href="http://www.lulu.com/awhavens">TaleWeaver</a>.</p><h3><strong>Card Ideas<br/></strong></h3><p><strong>21. Make your own envelopes.</strong> A dear friend of mine (Hi, Susan!) once sent me letters every few months in hand-made envelopes. Hers were made from interesting magazine ads. How cool is that? If you want to get fancy, do a search on the Internet for &#8220;make envelopes&#8221; and such. But the easiest way is to get the envelopes that go with whatever cards you&#8217;re mailing, carefully bust &#8216;em apart, trace them on funky paper (magazine pictures, wallpaper, wrapping paper?) and then cut, fold and glue (or double-sticky clear tape) them together. People may expect hand-made cards. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Or hand-made envelopes. Festivisimus!</p><p><strong><img width="288" align="right" height="200" src="http://lh6.google.com/bspcn.com/R2wBrbDUoSI/AAAAAAAABlY/9RmwZRD-tk4/s288/havens_angels.jpg"/>22. Photoshop your kid(s) into other (classic) pics.</strong> I first saw this done to Raphael&#8217;s &#8220;The Sistine Madonna, Detail of the Angles&#8221; painting (as shown). Although a much better job than the one I&#8217;ve done here, which is of my niece and nephew (Hi, Nate! Hi, Sophie!) Click on it to see a much larger image. The point is to have fun and take a picture folks will recognize and include people they will recognize. It doesn&#8217;t have to be a serious pic, either. I would think that your kid climbing the Empire State Building to put a star on top would be hysterical. Use this instead of a regular picture-of-your-kids card because? well? because it&#8217;s goofy. Combine with #9, below, for best effect.</p><p><strong>23. Gift cards for chores, favors, hugs, etc.</strong> These were a big item when I was growing up. Don&#8217;t know if other people did them. The idea was to make gift-certificates or gift cards that &#8220;entitled the bearer to (1) one doing of the dishes upon presentation of this card.&#8221; You can make these intimate for your honey (I won&#8217;t get into those variations here, thank you), or appropriate for work. For example, I once gave my boss ten &#8220;Andy will now pipe down&#8221; certificates. Upon presentation, I was obligated to shut my pie hole. She only ever handed me two. I believe she traded the rest in for some magic beans. Or they may be floating around on eBay? Hmmm?.</p><p><strong>24. &#8220;Puzzle Party&#8221; cards.</strong> Take, buy or make a nice picture and turn it into a jigsaw, either yourself or at Kinkos. Mail one piece to each person you&#8217;re inviting to the party. When they come, they add their piece. Depending on how corn-ball you are, you can hold forth on how we&#8217;re all a part of the holiday panorama of joy, etc. etc. It also serves to increase the guilt factor that motivates people to come to your party, since if they don&#8217;t? their piece will be missing. Ha!</p><p><strong>25. &#8220;Family News&#8221; cards from the future.</strong> I love this one. Lots of families I know write a very nice update about what&#8217;s been going on over the last year. It&#8217;s nice to hear, but? mostly it ends up being, &#8220;Dad&#8217;s still working and maybe going a bit more stir crazy. Same for mom. The kids are in school and are a year older.&#8221; Yawn? I like the idea of fast-forwarding a bit and writing your &#8220;Holiday Family News from 2025.&#8221; Keep it just as straight-faced and boring, but mention which dimension Mary got lost in on the way to work this time. Talk about how the Martian embassy lost your passport on your 2nd honeymoon cruise, etc. etc. Much more fun. Cloning humor goes over big in this one, too.</p><p><strong>26. Mystery cards.</strong> Send a really nice holiday card, maybe include a gift certificate, but with no indication of whom it&#8217;s from; no names, no return address, etc. Why? To bug the crap out of somebody you love. And isn&#8217;t that what the holiday season is all about?</p><p><strong>27. Return-reply cards.</strong> Send people a card with a self-addressed, stamped envelope or postcard inside to send back to you. Put questions on it you&#8217;d like answered, like? what do you want for Christmas next year? How the heck are ya? Which holiday movies did you see and like or hate? People love to be interactive. Give the gift that gives something back to you.</p><p><strong>28. Custom mouse pad card.</strong> They will throw away the picture of your kids. But if you put that picture on a <a href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/customize/product.aspx?clear=true&amp;no=3">custom mouse pad</a>? it&#8217;s a keepsake.</p><p><strong>29. Nice, custom cards.</strong> While we&#8217;re visiting Cafepress.com. ? You can go to the drug store and have any photo turned into a card. And they sure look like you did just that. But if you take a few more minutes, you can actually have <a href="http://www.cafepress.com/cp/customize/product.aspx?clear=true&amp;no=195">custom cards</a> printed out for you. Ones that look like cards. Which is nicer, you must admit. Combine this with #2, above.</p><p><strong>30. Origami cards.</strong> Do your regular card, but include a piece (or more, if necessary) of origami paper and instructions for making an ornament, decoration, etc. Your local library <a href="http://www.worldcat.org/search?q=christmas+origami&amp;sourceid=mozilla-search">has holiday origami books</a>, I bet. Again? the point is to do something different? with a little extra un-Grincy flavor.</p><h3>Gift/Shopping Ideas<br/></h3><p><strong>31. Surrogate shopping party.</strong> So many of us have someone or several someones on our lists that are impossible to shop for or that we just have a mental block on. Fine. Get together for dinner and share an equal number of those folks with each other, along with a few details and a dollar ceiling per gift. Then release yourselves into a mall with a time limit. Then get back together and share the swag. I guar-ohn-tee that your friends will find stuff for your hard-to-getters that you&#8217;d never have thought of. If it ain&#8217;t right? Well, &#8217;tis the season to return stuff.</p><p><strong>32. Thought gifts.</strong> They say, &#8220;It&#8217;s the thought that counts.&#8221; OK. So, this year, only give thoughts for the holidays. Make this the year that you and yours agree to take whatever your budget for gifts was and either give it to a charity or stick it in a savings vehicle; your call, I&#8217;m not preaching here. But for yourselves? take the time to actually say the things you haven&#8217;t said. Give &#8220;the thought&#8221; behind the gift. If you&#8217;re a spiritual person, pray or meditate on the subject for a bit. Do it in a card if you like, or via email. Don&#8217;t make the logistics as much of a pain as shopping/wrapping/etc. That&#8217;s not the point. But all the major religions that are celebrating this time of year have gift-giving as a central notion not as a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Potlatch">potlatch</a> per se, but as a metaphor for love, friendship, community, etc.</p><p><strong>33 Archie McPhee.</strong> This idea is a straight-up pimp for the <a href="http://www.mcphee.com/items/M5633.html">Jumbo Mystery Box</a> from Archie McPhee. I get one of these every year (although this year I have been strongly advised that the ladies want something non-McPhee in their stockings? geez), and use the contents for stockings, Secret Santa, random giftings, prizes for students, etc. You never know, around holiday time, when a bunch of Hindu god finger puppets, glowing eyeballs or rampaging Hun toy soldiers will come in handy.</p><p><strong>34. Gifts for the future of the group.</strong> Have everybody get everybody something that will only really &#8220;work&#8221; when you get back together. Pick a group-y activity like a picnic or game night, and have everyone get/give gifts that will be brought together again each time you do that thing.</p><p><strong>35. Recommendations or reviews.</strong> I get lots of gift certificates. And that&#8217;s cool. But it still means I need to figure out what I want to get with the thing. If you give someone a gift certificate (especially to a book or music store/site), provide a list of 5 or 10 ideas that you think they&#8217;d like. Write little mini-reviews of books you&#8217;ve read, movies you&#8217;ve seen, etc. that made you think of the person. Make the list fun, funny or serious? but it will add personality and thought to what can seem like a somewhat generic offering.</p><p><strong>36. Make part of the gift yourself.</strong> Homemade gifts are special, when they come from adults as well as kids. I recently received a CD from a friend, and it was wrapped in a handkerchief that he&#8217;d tie-dyed himself. How cool is that?! If you give someone a coffee machine, create a <a href="http://www.zazzle.com/custom/mugs">custom mug</a> for them, too.</p><p><strong>37. Food with gifts inside.</strong> I don&#8217;t know why this is fun, but it is. Make sure you warn people, and make the gifts obvious (small gems can be a choking or tooth-breaking hazard). Seal stuff in zip-lock bags to preserve the food and the toys. Put something in the Jello (action figures?) that will make digging out the prize as much fun as playing with it.</p><p><strong>38. Gifts with a story.</strong> Write a fictional story about how the gift you&#8217;re giving came into your hands. Make it funny, sweet, odd, implausible? whatever. It will make the present more memorable.</p><p><strong>39. Don&#8217;t overthink.</strong> We spend so much time (well, I don&#8217;t, but &#8220;we&#8221; do) trying to figure out the &#8220;perfect gift&#8221; for people. Unless you&#8217;re sweetie is waiting for a ring, or your 8-year-old will DIE without a particular Lego set? there ain&#8217;t no such thing. Part of the fun of gifts is getting something you wouldn&#8217;t ever have bought for yourself. If it wasn&#8217;t, we&#8217;d just give each other money. Bleh. So give something odd and unexpected. I mentioned Archie McPhee before. Another great site full of fun and different ideas is the <a href="http://quincyshop.com/">Quincy Shop</a>. Very unique stuff, in a wide range of prices and styles. Really fun. This year, somebody better get me a <a href="http://quincyshop.com/buddha-board-zen.html">Buddha Board Zen Art thing</a>, or I&#8217;m a-gonna cry. I got most of last year&#8217;s stocking stuffers from their &#8220;<a href="http://quincyshop.com/prod10andun.html">Unique Gifts Under $10</a>&#8221; section. Their selection and service gets the Andy Havens&#8217; Seal of Wow! That&#8217;s Neat!</p><p><strong>40. Share kids.</strong> Childhood is a big part of the holidays; both our own and our kids&#8217;. If you don&#8217;t have kids and are friends with someone who does, offer to babysit so that they can go out and shop, and then do one of the <a href="http://www.tinkerx.com/index.php/2007/11/25/christmas-spirit-20-50-ungrinchy-holiday-ideas-for-2007/#craft">craft things</a> above. If you do have kids, and know folks that don&#8217;t, invite them over for an event where the kids will play a part. Holidays go better with runts.</p><h3>Meaningful Ideas<br/></h3><p>Hopefully, all the above ideas can be meaningful. This last set, though, is meant to supply you with specific, holiday depth and feelings of joy, brotherhood, jolly?tude? Jolliness? That sounds better.</p><p>The holidays can be meaningful? Go figger.</p><p><strong>41. Start a bizarre, personal holiday tradition.</strong> I heard somewhere (can&#8217;t find it online, sorry? it may be apocryphal) that Amy Grant&#8217;s family explodes their Christmas tree after New Year&#8217;s Day with fireworks. I&#8217;m neither hot nor cold on Ms. Grant, but? that&#8217;s flippin&#8217; awesome!!! So many of our holiday traditions are either copped from cultures that really aren&#8217;t our own anymore, or have been entirely kidnapped by the media/mercantile world. Why not invent a new ritual that&#8217;s just for you and your family? Stuff a sock with toys by the fireplace? Why? I sure as heck don&#8217;t know. How about, instead, everybody in your family writes one line of a nativity poem. Or fight some gingerbread man wars. Or make advent candles from last year&#8217;s used crayons. At my house, we&#8217;ve now been playing street hockey the day after Christmas for several years with all the in-laws. Why? Bob wanted to one year. After three years? It&#8217;s a tradition!</p><p><strong>42. Overtip, ridiculously, at least once.</strong> Food service is tough work. And around the holidays, it&#8217;s even worse. People are out-and-about, running like mad, full o&#8217; holiday spirit, and, often, not very nice to the wait staff. And because we&#8217;re spending more than we should on various baubles, bangles and beads? we&#8217;re often a bit penurious when it comes to the everyday stuff. Which hurts the folks whose livelihood depends on our largess. So. At least once, between Thanksgiving and New Year, when you get good service and a nice smile with your meal? leave a $20 tip on a $13 lunch meal. Or, what the heck? leave $50 to cover a $22 dinner. Or $100 for a cup o&#8217; joe. Seriously. Don&#8217;t make a big deal out of it. Do it, as the scriptures say, &#8220;In the dark.&#8221; But do it. You&#8217;ll make somebody&#8217;s whole season.</p><p><strong>43. Start a yearly journal.</strong> Very few people keep a journal. I&#8217;m a professional writer, and I don&#8217;t. I&#8217;m supposed to, but I write at work, and I blog, and I write poetry and fiction and, and, and? So I&#8217;ve never had a daily journal. But what I do have is a notebook that I take out about once a year. Often around the holidays. And, in my case, I write in it the names of people &#8211; everyone I can remember &#8211; that I&#8217;ve met during the last year or so. And, of course, I go back and read the earlier entries and reflect on how lucky I&#8217;ve been to have known so many wonderful people. The names are my &#8220;touchstones&#8221; to the past. The names are bookmarks in my memory, because people anchor the most important events in my life, I think. Anyway? that&#8217;s what&#8217;s in my &#8220;annual journal&#8221; for the most part. Yours, of course, can be anything you want.</p><p><strong>44. Share a resolution.</strong> We don&#8217;t keep our New Year&#8217;s resolutions, for the most part, because we are not really accountable to ourselves. We cheat and look the other way. So share a resolution with a friend or family member; let them hold you accountable, and vice versa.</p><p><strong>45. Share a resolution.</strong> No, this is not a repeat. In this case, I mean make a resolution that includes another person. For example, resolve to have a game-night once a week with your family, or to go for a walk 3 days a week with your spouse. Resolve to send an email back-and-forth at least twice a month with a friend you don&#8217;t see much anymore. Resolve to cook healthy for me, and I&#8217;ll cook healthy for you twice a week. Resolve to help your boss with his annoying habit of not taking minutes/notes at meetings, and he can help you with your attempts at better process management. So many things that we want to accomplish are impossible alone. Resolve to be better together.</p><p><strong>46. Visit someone else&#8217;s ceremony.</strong> When I was in confirmation class as a young Methodist swain, our pastor took us to a Passover Seder service at one of the nearby Jewish temples. It was a great way to learn about the similarities and differences between my faith and that of my Jewish friends, and to drink wine as a 15-year-old. That specific holiday won&#8217;t work around December? but you get the point. Find out what and how others are celebrating around this time of the year. You&#8217;ll end up experiencing your own traditions more deeply, I guarantee.</p><p><strong>47. Take someone to a performance of Handel&#8217;s &#8220;Messiah&#8221; who&#8217;s never been.</strong> There&#8217;s a church in your area putting it on, I guarantee. If not (some guarantee, eh?), rent a version <a href="http://www.worldcat.org/search?q=handel+messiah&amp;fq=s0%3A40000000+%3E+dt%3Arec&amp;qt=facet_dt%3A">from the library</a>. It&#8217;s truly one of the most beautiful, moving pieces of holiday music you can experience. Sharing it is a great gift.</p><p><strong>48. Random (nice) blog comments.</strong> If you read lots of blogs, take the time to do something that only 1-in-100 readers generally does; leave a comment. We bloggers write for lots of reasons. But nothing makes our day like a comment from a reader we haven&#8217;t heard from before. If you&#8217;ve enjoyed the work of a blogger in the past, visit their space and let them know. It takes just a few minutes, and really is a lovely treat for us. Please note, I am not fishing for comments on this blog. I&#8217;m projecting. ;-&gt;</p><p><strong>49. Give to a charity you don&#8217;t normally connect with.</strong> Stretch a bit. If you mostly give at church, find a secular charity that does something you agree with. If you tend towards issues of hunger, try education. I&#8217;m not saying don&#8217;t do the stuff you usually do? but find out about a new one. When our giving becomes rote, we lose something of the original reason we were moved to give. Get out of your comfort zone and find a new way to share.</p><p><strong>50. Forgiveness.</strong> One of the worst barriers to experiencing spiritual, holiday joy is the sense that we are not worthy. Whether directly or indirectly, too much gift giving is often a substitute for the resolution of actual issues. And one of the issues that really can weigh us down this time of the year is a grudge. Whether you&#8217;re holding one against someone else, or they&#8217;re mad at you about something? take care of it. If it&#8217;s so far in the past that the person is dead, moved on, out-of-touch,etc., then talk to a friend, therapist or confessor of some kind. Get rid of it. I don&#8217;t care what your religion is or if you have none. The burden of unforgiveness is a strain on the holidays for us all. Lose that, and all the other holiday stuff will be much, much brighter.</p><p><P><a href="http://digg.com/submit?phase=2&#038;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.bspcn.com%2F2007%2F12%2F21%2F50-ungrinchy-christmas-ideas-for-2007%2F&#038;title=50+UnGrinchy+Christmas+Ideas+for+2007&#038;bodytext="><strong>If you like this post, please digg it</strong></a></P><br/> <br/><br/><hr/><p>Well, that&#8217;s it for this year. Hopefully you found something in here that will help your holiday be more fun, festive and? fruitful? Well, bad alliteration aside, have a joyful season and a Happy New Year.</p></div><p class="posted">Posted in <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/category/uncategorized/" title="View all posts in Uncategorized" rel="category tag">Uncategorized</a><span class="comments"><a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/21/50-ungrinchy-christmas-ideas-for-2007/#comments" title="Comment on 50 UnGrinchy Christmas Ideas for 2007"></a><iframe src='http://www.facebook.com/plugins/comments.php?href=http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/21/50-ungrinchy-christmas-ideas-for-2007/&permalink=1' scrolling='no' frameborder='0' style='border:none; overflow:hidden; width:130px; padding-left:-15px; height:12px;' allowTransparency='true'> </iframe><a></a></span></p></div><div class="post-alt blog" id="post-236"><h2><a title="Permanent Link to Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery" href="http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/20/memorial-day-at-arlington-national-cemetery/" rel="bookmark">Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery</a></h2><p class="post_date">Posted on 20 December 2007. <span class="singletags"></span></p><div class="entry"><p>Written by <a href="http://blogs.gettyimages.com/news/2007/05/30/memorial-day-at-arlington-national-cemetery/" target="_blank">Getty Images</a></p><p style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com" title="jm-blog-photo-one.jpg"><img width="420" alt="jm-blog-photo-one.jpg" height="270" src="http://blogs.gettyimages.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2007/05/jm-blog-photo-one.jpg"/></a><br/><em>John Moore/Getty Images</em></p><p>After spending much of the last six years covering the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, I felt like I needed to visit Arlington National Cemetery this Memorial Day weekend. I felt like I owed it some time.</p><p>I went with my family &#8211; my pregnant wife and my young daughter. Separately and together, my wife and I have covered a lot of heart-wrenching stories around the world, but Section 60 was unlike any place we had been.</p><p>The beauty and serenity of Virginia&#8217;s rolling hills and awe inspiring views of Washington D.C. clash with today&#8217;s reality of national loss, where grief is raw and in your face. You step over grass sods still taking root over freshly dug graves. You watch a mother kiss her son&#8217;s tombstone. Two soldiers put flowers and a cold beer next to the grave of a fallen buddy. A young son left a hand-written note for his dad. &#8220;I hope you like Heven, hope you liked Virginia very much hope you like the Holidays. I also see you every Sunday. Please write back!&#8221;</p><p>Section 60 is not about a troop surge or a war spending bill or whether we should be fighting these wars at all. It is about ordinary people trying to get through something so hard that most of us can&#8217;t ever imagine it. Everyone I met that afternoon had a gut-wrenching story to tell.</p><p>Mary McHugh is one of those people. She sat in front of the grave of her fiance James &#8220;Jimmy&#8221; Regan, talking to the stone. She spoke in broken sentences between sobs, gesturing with her hands, sometimes pausing as if she was trying to explain, with so much left needed to say.</p><p>Later on, after she spoke with a fellow mourner from a neighboring grave, I went over and introduced myself and told her I was photographing for Getty Images and had brought my family on our own pilgrimage to the site. I told her we had been living in Pakistan for the last few years, how we had come back to the States for a few months for the birth of our second child.</p><p>Mary told me about her slain fiance Jimmy Regan. Clearly, she had not only loved him but truly admired him. When he graduated from Duke, he decided to enlist in the Army to serve his country. He chose not to be an officer, though he could have been, because he didn&#8217;t want to risk a desk job. Instead, he became an Army Ranger and was sent twice to Aghanistan and Iraq &#8211; an incredible four deployments in just three years. He was killed in Iraq this February by a roadside bomb.</p><p>I told her how I had spent a lot of time in Iraq and Afghanistan, photographing American troops in combat. I told her that earlier this year I was a month in Ramadi and then a few more weeks in a tough spot called Helmand. I told her how I am going back to Iraq sometime this summer and that I was very sorry to see her this Memorial Day in the national cemetery, visiting a grave.</p><p>Mary said that they had planned to get married after Jimmy&#8217;s four years of service were up next year. &#8220;We loved each other so much,&#8221; she said. &#8220;We thought we had all of the time in the world.&#8221;</p><p>After a few moments more, my beautiful wife, Gretchen, now almost 9 months pregnant, walked over with our two-year-old Isabella. Our daughter started climbing over me, saying &#8220;daddy&#8221; in my ear and pulling on my arm to come walk with her. I felt awkward and guilty about the contrast, but if Mary felt it too, she was nothing but gracious and friendly. I told her that I would forward her some photos of her from that day if she would like and she gave me her email address. We said our goodbyes and I moved on with my family through the sea of graves.</p><p>Later on, I passed by and she was lying in the grass sobbing, speaking softly to the stone, this time her face close to the cold marble, as if whispering into Jimmy&#8217;s ear.</p><p>Some people feel the photo I took at the moment was too intimate, too personal. Like many who have seen the picture, I felt overwhelmed by her grief, and moved by the love she felt for her fallen sweetheart.</p><p>After so much time covering these wars, I have some difficult memories and have seen some of the worst a person can see &#8211; so much hatred and rage, so much despair and sadness. All that destruction, so much killing. And now, one beautiful and terribly sad spring afternoon amongst the rows and rows of marble stones &#8211; a young woman&#8217;s lost love.</p><p>I felt I owed the Arlington National Cemetery a little time &#8211; and I think I still do. Maybe we all do.</p></div><p class="posted">Posted in <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/category/uncategorized/" title="View all posts in Uncategorized" rel="category tag">Uncategorized</a><span class="comments"><a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/20/memorial-day-at-arlington-national-cemetery/#respond" title="Comment on Memorial Day at Arlington National Cemetery"></a><iframe src='http://www.facebook.com/plugins/comments.php?href=http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/20/memorial-day-at-arlington-national-cemetery/&permalink=1' scrolling='no' frameborder='0' style='border:none; overflow:hidden; width:130px; padding-left:-15px; height:12px;' allowTransparency='true'> </iframe><a></a></span></p></div><div class="more_entries"><div class='wp-pagenavi'> <span class='pages'>Page 4 of 11</span><a href='http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/page/3/' class='previouspostslink'>«</a><a href='http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/' class='page smaller'>1</a><a href='http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/page/2/' class='page 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2007'>November 2007</a></li><li><a href='http://www.bspcn.com/2007/10/' title='October 2007'>October 2007</a></li><li><a href='http://www.bspcn.com/2007/09/' title='September 2007'>September 2007</a></li><li><a href='http://www.bspcn.com/2007/08/' title='August 2007'>August 2007</a></li><li><a href='http://www.bspcn.com/2007/07/' title='July 2007'>July 2007</a></li><li><a href='http://www.bspcn.com/2007/06/' title='June 2007'>June 2007</a></li><li><a href='http://www.bspcn.com/2007/05/' title='May 2007'>May 2007</a></li></ul></div><div id="comm"><ul><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2008/08/09/2008-olympics-opening-ceremony/#comment-81049" title="on 2008 Olympics Opening Ceremony"> juicy couture handbag sale: Very nice and informative post.That is very kind o... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/08/03/that-truck-driver-you-flipped-off-let-me-tell-you-his-story/#comment-81047" title="on That truck driver you flipped off? Let me tell you his story. "> Bobbie: Can't leave this one alone....Most truckers DO hav... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/08/03/that-truck-driver-you-flipped-off-let-me-tell-you-his-story/#comment-81046" title="on That truck driver you flipped off? Let me tell you his story. "> Fredo: Let me guess Joe, you race past trucks and then pu... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/08/03/that-truck-driver-you-flipped-off-let-me-tell-you-his-story/#comment-81043" title="on That truck driver you flipped off? Let me tell you his story. "> Walt: This story is inspiring kids everywhere to study h... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/08/03/that-truck-driver-you-flipped-off-let-me-tell-you-his-story/#comment-81022" title="on That truck driver you flipped off? Let me tell you his story. "> joe: I live in SW Missouri, right off I-44 in what has ... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/07/25/obamas-5-big-mistakes/#comment-81021" title="on Obama's 5 big mistakes"> FarmerJohn: Hey 'Guest02'
1) $900,000,000 stimulus that h... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/08/03/that-truck-driver-you-flipped-off-let-me-tell-you-his-story/#comment-81019" title="on That truck driver you flipped off? Let me tell you his story. "> Marcin: Thank you for this article. It is hard to understa... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2009/07/14/if-a-guy-says-go-make-me-a-sandwich-whats-a-good-comeback/#comment-81009" title="on If a guy says GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH what's a good comeback?"> christine: "She who cooks does not clean."... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/07/12/how-to-migrate-from-facebook-to-google-plus/#comment-81008" title="on How to Migrate from Facebook to Google+"> Husain: Thanks a lot, such a detailed article...... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/03/02/25-ways-to-waste-your-money/#comment-80991" title="on 25 Ways to Waste Your Money"> Lekisha Truesdale: Enterprise coupon Car Rentals provides their clien... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/08/02/strange-facts-about-the-human-body/#comment-80990" title="on Strange Facts About the Human Body"> Keith: Let me help clarify something for you Rick. Are yo... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/08/02/strange-facts-about-the-human-body/#comment-80989" title="on Strange Facts About the Human Body"> Keith: What other country would an American be from????... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/08/02/strange-facts-about-the-human-body/#comment-80988" title="on Strange Facts About the Human Body"> Keith: This is great. I've been hoping something good mig... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2007/10/22/38-sites-to-replace-tv-links/#comment-80984" title="on 38 sites to replace TV-Links"> lawsuit settlements: thanks guys... have a very long list ....... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/08/02/strange-facts-about-the-human-body/#comment-80983" title="on Strange Facts About the Human Body"> Jess: Well, the only country America's come from. A Cana... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/08/02/strange-facts-about-the-human-body/#comment-80981" title="on Strange Facts About the Human Body"> Rick: The Average American? from what country? All of th... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2008/07/29/9-ways-you-can-take-advantage-of-this-terrible-economy/#comment-80975" title="on 9 ways you can take advantage of this terrible economy"> scammer iorga eugeniu laurentiu: It's the best time to make some plans for the futu... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/07/20/the-top-15-most-popular-dyac-texts-of-all-time/#comment-80972" title="on The Top 15 Most Popular DYAC Texts Of All Time"> AlaskaNebraska: Laughed a good deal, don't care if its fake or not... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/02/27/142-ways-to-make-money-online/#comment-80968" title="on 142+ Ways to Make Money Online"> Fiverr Buyers Gigs Requests: Good Read, Thank you for sharing this.... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2008/02/03/how-to-work-from-the-beach/#comment-80964" title="on How to work from the beach"> Online Mail Scanning: This article is very useful and beneficial. Thank ... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2007/09/21/10-things-to-remember-when-confronted-by-the-police/#comment-80959" title="on 10 Things to Remember When Confronted By The Police"> scammer iorga eugeniu laurentiu: Yes you can …Today is Your new birth The National ... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/07/29/20-things-guys-shouldnt-ever-do-to-girls/#comment-80950" title="on 20 Things Guys Shouldn’t Ever Do To Girls"> Keith: I'll stick around, but just so I can go down with ... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2010/02/21/20-signs-you-play-too-many-flash-games/#comment-80943" title="on 20 Signs You Play Too Many Flash Games"> Flashgames: Haha, very funny list! More of this, I like that s... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2008/02/19/15-things-men-say-but-don%e2%80%99t-really-mean/#comment-80941" title="on 15 Things Men Say But Don’t Really Mean"> asshole iorga eugeniu laurentiu: Hi, i think that i saw you visited my blog so i ca... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2008/07/31/10-skills-you-need-to-succeed-at-almost-anything/#comment-80940" title="on 10 Skills You Need to Succeed at Almost Anything"> sexy hair extensions: If you do get the wrong short hair extensions do n... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2010/10/18/things-obama-has-done/#comment-80936" title="on Things Obama has done..."> Joshua: You couldn't be more wrong.... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2007/09/19/10-tips-for-the-greatest-grilled-cheese/#comment-80922" title="on 10 Tips For the Greatest Grilled Cheese"> Lose weight fastest: Have you ever regarded as adding more videos to yo... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/07/29/20-things-guys-shouldnt-ever-do-to-girls/#comment-80921" title="on 20 Things Guys Shouldn’t Ever Do To Girls"> biggz: you forgot a few things21. never let a women p... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2007/10/22/38-sites-to-replace-tv-links/#comment-80920" title="on 38 sites to replace TV-Links"> videos: Thanks for listMiley.... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li><li> <a href="http://www.bspcn.com/2011/07/30/11-most-ridiculous-japanese-ads-with-american-celebs/#comment-80903" title="on 11 most ridiculous Japanese ads with American celebs"> Rick: American Celebs? I just see US Celebs None from ot... </a><div style="clear:both"></div></li></ul></div></div></div><div class="fix" style="height:15px !important;"></div><div class="fix"></div><div id="linkcat-2" class="block widget widget_links"><h3>Featured Sites</strong></h3><ul class='xoxo blogroll'></ul></div><div class="fix"></div><div class="fix"></div><div class="subcol fl"></div><div class="subcol fr"></div><div class="fix"></div><div id="mpu_banner" class="wrap widget"><div id="fb-root"></div><script>window.fbAsyncInit=function(){FB.init({appId:'your app id',status:true,cookie:true,xfbml:true});};(function(){var e=document.createElement('script');e.async=true;e.src=document.location.protocol+'//connect.facebook.net/en_US/all.js';document.getElementById('fb-root').appendChild(e);}());</script><fb:like-box href="http://www.facebook.com/bspcn" width="300" show_faces="true" border_color="" stream="false" header="false"></fb:like-box></div></div><div class="fix"></div></div><div id="footer"><p class="fl">Please <a href="/contact/">contact us</a> to notify of content that infringes your rights.</p><p class="fr"><a href="/privacy/">Privacy Policy</a>.</p></div></div><script type='text/javascript' src="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/h/www.bspcn.com/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/jquery.form.js,q9d7bd4.pagespeed.jm.ZIFhdInaZF.js"></script><script type='text/javascript'>var _wpcf7={"loaderUrl":"http:\/\/www.bspcn.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/contact-form-7\/images\/ajax-loader.gif","sending":"Sending ...","cached":"1"};</script><script type='text/javascript' src="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/h/www.bspcn.com/wp-content/plugins/contact-form-7/scripts.js,q9d7bd4.pagespeed.jm.toDEZE3ccu.js"></script><script src="http://1-ps.googleusercontent.com/x/www.bspcn.com/stats.wordpress.com/e-201206.js.pagespeed.ce.uc_PXLNQDK.js" type="text/javascript"></script><script type="text/javascript">st_go({blog:'13002129',v:'ext',post:'0'});var load_cmc=function(){linktracker_init(13002129,0,2);};if(typeof addLoadEvent!='undefined')addLoadEvent(load_cmc);else load_cmc();</script><script type="text/javascript">var _gaq=_gaq||[];_gaq.push(['_setAccount','UA-56283-5']);_gaq.push(['_trackPageview']);_gaq.push(['_trackPageLoadTime']);(function(){var ga=document.createElement('script');ga.type='text/javascript';ga.async=true;ga.src=('https:'==document.location.protocol?'https://ssl':'http://www')+'.google-analytics.com/ga.js';var s=document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0];s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga,s);})();</script><script type='text/javascript'>function g(){new Image().src='http://ps.googleusercontent.com/beacon?ets=load:'+(Number(new Date())-window.mod_pagespeed_start)+'&url='+encodeURIComponent('http://www.bspcn.com/2007/12/page/4/');};var f=window.addEventListener;if(f){f('load',g,false);}else{f=window.attachEvent;if(f){f('onload',g);}}</script></body></html>
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