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<h2>April 12, 2007</h2>	
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	 <h3 class="storytitle"><a href="http://p2pexeem.net/2007/04/12/grading-the-american-idol-top-8-on-the-tivo-multi-bloop-scale" rel="bookmark">Grading the American Idol Top 8 On The Tivo Multi-Bloop Scale</a></h3>
	<div class="meta">Filed under: <a href="http://p2pexeem.net/category/fun" title="View all posts in fun and movies" rel="category tag">fun and movies</a>, <a href="http://p2pexeem.net/category/all-p2p-networks" title="View all posts in All p2p networks" rel="category tag">All p2p networks</a> &#8212; Administrator @ 5:55 am </div>
	
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		<p><img src="http://www.thejay.com/wp-content/aitop8.jpg" alt="American Idol Top 9" align=center border="1" /></p>
<p>Another lackluster week in Idol Land.  I can’t blame the mentor this week, as I found Jennifer Lopez disarmingly endearing (anyone who cracks up at their own jokes because it amuses them so much is OK in my book; I mean, I know she’s really a beyotch, but her on-camera persona is very cool.  I’m definitely looking forward to her live performance tonight).  The Idols seemed to relate to her a lot better than they did any other mentor since Diana Ross, mostly because they’ve watched her become an Idol over the last half decade.  She’s the living embodiment of a singer with a mediocre voice but tons of charisma selling millions of albums.  J.Lo is a modern American Idol, and the cast can relate to that.  She was fun, upbeat, knew the type of advice the Idols needed to better their performance (if not their vocal), and generally seemed to be throwing a good-time fun bash with the kids.  I especially loved when she said she had her favorites but wouldn’t name them, then proceeded to bring Blake on camera roughly 456 times for no reason.  Yeah, no chance we find out who her favorite is.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.thejay.com/wp-content/jlo.jpg" alt="J.Lo Album Cover" align=right border="1" />My pick for the blame is not the theme this week, but song choice.  Three girls sang Gloria Estefan songs.  Gloria Estefan is A) not a “singer” singer, and B) not the end all, be all for Latin music.  It’s no surprise that the one performance that was actually sung in Spanish (Sanjaya!) was the most well-received.  The overall song choices showed immaturity and lack of depth, and that resulted in a ho-hum performance night.  I mean, heck, Chris R. sang a Rob Thomas vocal.  I like Matchbox 20 and all, but one thing you can’t say about them is that they represent the Latin world.  I get that the producers wanted the kids singing songs people would recognize, but I found it slightly offensive to the hundreds of talented Latin musicians that were pushed aside in the name of the four Latin performers that broke through to Pop Music in the last few decades.  Not to mention the fact that, ahem, Jennifer Lopez is not a Latin artist.  Either do these theme nights right, or don’t do them at all.</p>
<p>But ANYWAY…. On to the bloop review.</p>
<p>As stated before, I’ve decided to recap the show week-to-week and grade the singers on a sliding scale of how much I wanted to, or did, TiVo-bloop through the song. At the end of each recap I’ll make my pick for who should (and hopefully will) get the axe on the Wednesday night results show.</p>
<p>Let’s break it down, bloop bloop style!</p>
<p><img src="http://www.thejay.com/wp-content/blakelewis.jpg" alt="Blake Lewis" align=right border="1" /><strong>1. Blake Lewis –</strong> Sure, mostly all of the performance last night were like bad karaoke, but at least Blake was trying.  I wasn’t a fan of his J.Lo suckuppage (he was really throwing game at Jennifer, not that she minded), and I kinda hate Marc Anthony and everything his soulless mummy-face represents (with the exception of his cameo in Hackers), but the Blake-factor made up for most of the hate.  He rocked the moves, the melody, the finger-pointing and the “look into the camera and unleash the sexy eyes” bit.  In a night of uneven performances, this is the only one I’d want to watch again (not counting Haley’s on mute, of course).  Half a bloop for Blake.</p>
<p><strong>2. Melinda Doolittle –</strong> I didn’t think it was a bad performance, per se, but it’s not like Melinda is gonna be the next <a href="http://www.stubhub.com/shakira-tickets/">Shakira</a>, you know?  It’s just not her wheelhouse.  But she accommodated herself a lot better than LaKisha, was more involved than Jordin, more poised than Haley, and more likeable than Phil, so she deserves this spot.  Pertaining to my careful research of her “shy” persona, I’m leaning evermore to the belief that it might just be a hoax.  She’s getting just a touch too confident up there.  She batted away Simon’s assaults like Tom Cruise evading “are you gay” questions.  Could she just be a fast learner?  Maybe.  But my money is on the whole persona being a very clever ruse.</p>
<p><strong>3. Sanjaya Malakar –</strong> I’m the first to admit when I’m wrong, so here I go: Sanjaya was good last night.  He was the only Idol to sing in Spanish, which gives him a ton of cred.  He toned down the wild and crazy stage act, which was a welcome relief.  And for the first time, I could see him as an actual pop star.  That being said, I agree with Simon that the vocal was still not great, and that he was too quiet and mumbly for most of the song.  But those complaints pale in comparison to the other things he did well.  This was the first time in many, many weeks that I remembered why I originally picked Sanjaya as one of my horses.  Welcome to the universe of Sanjaya, indeed.  One-bloop for the surging (and possibly legit) Sanjaya.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.thejay.com/wp-content/jordinsparks.jpg" alt="Jordin Sparks" align=right border="1" /><strong></strong><strong>4. Jordin Sparks –</strong> Ho hum.  That’s about all I have to say about that.  She looked bored, she sang bored and I was bored watching it.  I got the distinct feeling she was treading water.  She has a lot of support out there, so all she has to do until the finale is give a medium-energy performance and she’ll be fine.  She’s still three or four weeks from being in any real danger, so I get the tread, but I’m still not pleased by it.  I haven’t wanted to double-bloop her in a while, but last night she deserved it.</p>
<p><strong>5. Haley Scarnato –</strong> I hate that Simon won’t expand on Haley beyond her beautiful legs, but I guess that’s all he can do.  No, she is not a great vocalist, but let’s be real, neither was Katherine McPhee.  They both pushed the sex angle, and look where it got McPhee.  To the finals.  Will Haley get that far?  No, she’s probably gone next week, but I do believe it is her right to use any angle she can to stay on the show.  And I also want to point out that Simon put her through to the top 24, and to the top 12, and America has kept her around for another month, so how bad could she REALLY be?  I shouldn’t get worked up though, because she has a .5% chance of getting kicked off tonight.  You don’t kick off the Latin girl on Latin week.  It would be like kicking Blake off during Hip-Hop week, or LaKisha during Aretha Franklin week, or Phil during Creepy Alien Tonal Assault week.  As always, a no-bloop on mute, and a double bloop with the volume up.</p>
<p><strong>6. Chris Richardson –</strong> I can’t stress this enough: Rob Thomas does not equal Latin music.  That’s why you shouldn’t do a Santana song on American Idol (Phil, listen close here).  Santana’s music is about the music, not about the singing, which is why he does so many duets.  “Smooth” is a great song, admittedly, but you don’t get points for picking it, just because a Mexican guy played the guitar behind the vocal.  Chris has been pulling a bad karaoke bit for a few weeks now, and this time he needs to be punished for it.  Put him in the bottom three until he learns to find his own voice, and not Justin Timberlake’s or any other well-known white male solo performer.  A double-bloop to Chris R.</p>
<p><img src="http://www.thejay.com/wp-content/lakishajones.jpg" alt="LaKisha Jones" align=right border="1" /><strong></strong><strong>7. LaKisha Jones –</strong> When are people going to finally come to my side of the fence about LaKisha?  She has no range!  She can’t do anything on stage other than belt a big note!  She has no charisma!  And she keeps ignoring the mentor’s advice, which does nothing to make the “bitch” vibe go away!  Whenever she picks a song that doesn’t have big, blow-the-doors notes she botches it, and last night was no exception.  The hyper-speed lyrics tripped her up, as did the moving around.  I can usually just tune out the garbage and wait for her to nail at least a piece of the song, but I was S.O.L. last night.  I wasn’t able to get a thing out her.  Triple-bloop to the stumbling LaKisha.</p>
<p><strong>8. Phil Stacey –</strong> Like this was a surprise?  I doubt anyone beyond Phil and his wife thought he could convincingly pull off a Latin song (and his wife was probably lying so he’d agree to change the baby’s diaper).  What I said about Chris goes doubly for Phil, as the Bald One lacks Chris’s inherent likeability.  Phil will always have his ungainly looks to overcome, so he’s started under par every time.  For him to stay on each week he has to excel at every other point and he stumbled multiple times last night.  His voice cracked, he put the emphasis on the wrong syllable for the last note, he was stiff in his movements, and Jennifer was right, he didn’t connect to the lyrics.  The only good thing I can say about Phil is that at least he wore a freaking hat, and thus kept the creepy to a minimum.</p>
<p><strong>Bottom Three:</strong> Phil Stacey, Chris Richardson, LaKisha Jones</p>
<p><strong>My prediction for who gets the axe this week:</strong> LaKisha Jones (this was right about the time Mandisa was kicked off last year.  Coincidence, I think not.)</p>
<p><strong>The Jay’s Prediction Record So Far:</strong> 2 for 4 (50%)</p>
<p>Bangarang!</p>
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